Failure Threat Level Raised!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Sox have been swept by the Angels 9-2, despite Beckett on the mound. The Angels now have Mark Teixeira and they are obviously no longer vulnerable to the Sox. Also, the Rays and Yankees both won handily tonight; meaning the Francoma boys are falling behind TB and the A-Rod crew is poised to pass them. Even worse, despite the loss of Posada, the Yankees remained strong behind the plate by trading for Pudge Rodriguez. And what has Theo the Wonder Boy done yet in the trades? Nada!

The threat is growing, real members of RSN know this feeling of foreboding, so it is time to raise the Red Sox Failure Threat Level to

FOREBODING RED

Take all necessary precautions:
1) Start saying, "It's all over" and "Francona you're finished".
2) Question all front office decisions since 2000 on every message board and blog you can find.
3) Declare your intentions to quit watching or listen to the games.
4)Demand the Manny be traded (if it that does happen, declare it to be the worst move ever).

Failure looming, not yet inevitable

Back from the Last Frontier...as much as the situation improved during my self-imposed exile (Rays slipping, Big Papi returning) it also worsened (swept by Angels, lost 2 of 3 to the Yankees, Bad Manny rising). I did witnessed the day game in Seattle where it took 12 innings to beat the lowly Seattle 'Ners. Now they've lost 2 straight to the Anaheim Angels of LA or Orange County Angels of SoCal or Ahnold's Angels of Hollywood whatever they're calling themselves these days.

The threat of collapse is looming, but isn't a certainty...yet.

Alert level steady, but not rising

The Sox finish the first "half" of 2008 at 57-40 (.588), a half game up on the reeling Rays and six up on the Yankees in the AL East. Now we can look forward to the Sox swoon as they head to the west coast.

Twinkies dispatched

We can breathe a very short sigh of relief as the Sox swept the Twins. Meanwhile, the Rays are reeling. And the Yankees lost to the Pirates. Wait. What? No! Stop those thoughts! This is just the calm before the storm! Right? Right?!

Brett F*&king Gardner

The Red Sox just let Brett "I'm batting .100" Gardner beat them off their All Star closer Jonathan Papelbon (and against the Yankees no less). That puts the Sox a full 5 games behind Tampa Bay for the AL East, and only 2.5 games up on Minnesota for the wild card. And who is strolling into town for a three game series? Yes, the Twins.

Folks, we could be looking up at both the AL East and the Wild Card come the All Star Break. It might be time to start rationing and break out the bomb shelters.

Let us assess the situation

Hi all, this is Evan Dwight, the fill in for Doom while he's off burying his head in the tundra during the All Star Break.

Just thought we could sit back and assess a few things here.

1. The AL East standings as of 7/3/2008:

Tampa Bay Rays: 52-32
Boston Red Sox: 50-37, 3.5 GB
New York Yankers: 45-40, 7.5 GB
(the other teams)

Yes, the Sox are currently looking up at the Tampa Bay Rays. This is the baseball equivalent of waking up one morning to realize the mailboy from the office is sleeping with your wife. And she's handing your the divorce papers. And the dog is vomiting on you.

2. Varitek, the team captain, is hitting poorly.

Let us play a fun game.

2008 Stats:
Catcher A: 231 AB, .216 AVG, .300 OBP, 7 HR, 26 RBI
Catcher B: 188 AB, .218 AVG, .293 OBP, 6 HR, 24 RBI

Can you guess who they are?

(no peaking)

Ready?
A: Captain 'Tek
B: Lifetime backup's backup, Paul Bako (Cincinnati)

Yes, we're in need of some catching help.

3. What pitches 4.2 innings in the last week and gives up 13 hits, 11 runs, 5 walks with only 5 strikeouts?

Give up?

It is the Red Sox "top middle relief" trio of Delcarmen, Hansen & Okajima!

Ugh.

4. So far, there is little indication that things will change.
The rotation is set for now, with Beckett, Dice, Wakefield, Masterson and Lester. Buchholz is waiting in the wings at Pawtucket.
The hitting has been OK, minus the slumps of 'Tek, Manny and Ellsbury.

Maybe we need to slide Masterson to the bullpen, bring Buchholz back up and give that a shot.

You know, that and pray Papi gets back and hits 40 HRs from here on in.

Am I right? Am I right?

Sigh.

sickening

We held off for the month of June, but now is the time to panic.

Injuries are mounting, Manny being Manny now involves assault and the Sox have let themselves be swept by the Rays while the Tampa fans out-shouted RSN....humliating.

And Francoma sits there like its all going according to plan.

The only good that could come of this is that maybe it'll scare off the damn tourist fans, who need to take there ignorance, cell phones and pink shirts and go back to their suburban subdivisions and wait for the McMansion to be foreclosed and the Hummer to be repossesed.

The undersecretary is going to hide in Alaska for a few weeks and hope things improve before he sees the Sox at Safeco. Before he goes he'll evaluate whether or not to raise the level.

I'll try to get someone else to provide updates in the meantime.